Published September 16, 2010
In the dark before dawn,
The sleeping morning of Christmas Eve,
Even with my face pressed close
To the frosty glass,
I can't see the star.
There's no star, and there's no light.
When I stand alone in the rain-wet grass,
In the gentle blanket of midnight blue,
I shiver in the cold,
But the only arms around me
Are my own.
I can lift my eyes to the sky,
Where the constellations slowly turn;
And while the other stars still twinkle
With their last light,
Our star, the brightest diamond,
Has vanished behind the curtain of darkness.
There's no star;
No star, no light.
I can't see it--I can't see our star.
And all the sky is melting now
And the single tear I can't contain,
Sparkling like the diamond we lost,
Falls to earth and is no more.
I wish--if only--
But there's nothing left to say.
There's no star;
Our star is gone.
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141,364 Literary Works • 674,382 Reviews
Hey! I like this poem a lot, especially how your line breaks are in many of your poems. My favorite was this part:
The only thing that stuck out at me was how you kept repeating "no star" and things like that toward the end. I know you're emphasizing your point, but maybe take out one of the mentions of "no star" because it just seems repeated too often all of the sudden toward the end.
I loved the flow of this poem and it was good overall.
Great work and definitely keep writing!
Very powerful image created here, as well as some powerful emotions. Not to mention a lot of people can relate to this story. Overall, well done.
I really love this. Very well done.